Bess You Beep You

A two-year-old moved me to tears (man tears – the kind you don’t see) with a simple touch to my forehead and the words "bess you beep you." I had travelled to my best friends’ home to celebrate their son’s baptism. As they were putting their two-year-old daughter to bed, they did their nightly ritual of blessings. Both mother and father traced the sign of the cross on their little girl’s forehead and said the traditional words of blessing: "May the Lord bless you and keep you." Then it was her turn to give the blessing. She couldn’t quite trace the cross yet, so she put her half dollar size palm on my forehead and said the words as best she could, "Bess you beep you." As they took her up the stairs to tuck her in, my eyes welled up at the blessing I had received. That two-year-old girl had touched my heart by including me in her nightly ritual.

When my son was born, my wife and I decided to bless him every night in the same way, and teach him to do the same. He can’t quite mouth the words yet, but he knows enough to place his hand on our foreheads. Admittedly, it sometimes feels more like an over-enthusiastic faith healing slap to the head, but he’s getting there. I’m teaching my son to live out his faith, to serve others, even before his second birthday. My favorite moments are when we have house guests and they are blessed by my son, I can see those same tears of blessing well up in their eyes. This is the ministry of children, the potential they have to convey prayer and faith.

We teach our kids the things that are most important in life. We teach them what foods to eat, how to make healthy choices, and the importance of being safe. From an early age we instruct them in morality. Pat the dog, don’t hit the dog. It’s not okay to stand on the lazy-susan on top of the table so you can reach the light bulbs of the chandelier. Put the applesauce in your mouth, not on your mother’s head. It comes to us naturally to teach all of these things, but for some reason I hear a lot of people being more cautious about teaching their children faith.

I cringe every time I hear a parent say, “I’m not going to tell my kids what to believe. I’ll let them decide for themselves when they’re older.” Can you imagine someone saying, “I’m not going to teach my kids what words are okay to say to others” or let their children decide for themselves when to sleep or eat? We stunt our children’s growth when we fail to mentor them in the spiritual realm. Just as we teach them to share their toys and help someone who is hurting, we can teach them how to pray for another and how to bless them in God’s name.

The most helpful framework I’ve found for teaching our kids the faith has come from an organization called Faith Inkubators founded by Rich Melheim. They advocate the FAITH 5 method:

1. Share “Highs and Lows” of the day with your children.

2. Read a story from the Bible.

3. Talk about the connection between the highs and lows and the story you just read.

4. Pray together.

5. Bless each other.

(Click here to watch Melheim talking about night time blessings and more.)

At every age kids will be more equipped to add one of the FAITH 5 until every night the whole family is able to spend 5 minutes exercising their faith muscle doing all 5 components. Right now my son is learning to bless, soon he’ll be able to pray.

As our growing family includes these regular rituals in our lives, we are laying a foundation of faith that will be there when we need it most. One day, crisis will hit our family or friends as it does everyone. We will have to deal with an illness, a natural disaster or a death. In those moments, I know that my son will be ready to reach out a hand to bless those in need. I trust he’ll know how to turn to the Lord in prayer and receive guidance from scripture and family. In the meantime we do the daily work to raise our child in the faith, and are blessed each day that we do.