25 Things You Don’t Know About Me
1. I don’t know if it’s just my vibe or a gift from above, but I have this tendency to get food when I really want it but don’t ask for it. It just appears. I’d rather have this gift than, say, X-ray vision.
2. The longest I’ve ever lost one of my kids was probably a minute, but it felt like an hour. It was probably more like 27 seconds, but she was just 3. I saw her standing in the crowd at a tech and toy show in Tallahassee, just smiling up at everyone and trying not to look nervous.
Sometimes, it’s the nuts who are the most dangerous.
It's nuts. Absolutely nuts.
The thought that a peanut – the epitome of the miniscule, poster child for the puny – could stop a kid in her tracks. Represent such a threat to a child's existence that even its airborne presence could result in anaphylactic shock. Restrict her eating habits for the rest of her life. A peanut. A damn peanut.
To give your girls wings, sometimes you have to let them run barefoot
Dad lets her get away with anything. He will not say no. He cannot command a bit of discipline.
Dads, we once symbolized authority. Now? We wield the same power as the Queen of England. Or whoever is coaching the Dallas Cowboys. If we fail to believe in ourselves, however will our kids?
Finding the Common Ground between Mom and Dad
Moms and dads: We just disagree.
Dad: Bed time is fluid. What's a little caffeine in a kid, in the grand scheme of things? Shoes close to the shoe bin are actually close to being put in the right place. Close is good.
Mom: Bed time is consistent. A little caffeine in a kid, especially close to bed time, is akin to a demon possession; shoes on the floor are simply shoes on the floor. Dirty is dirty.
What a chore – trying to explain chores to my kids.
Do kids still do chores? I mean, in the age of the iPod, iPad, and “I-don’t-really-have-to-make-my-bed,-do-I?” Are chores a thing of the past?
Who sings this??
The kids know the question is coming. The radio is up, the song is playing, the lyrics belted out….
Everybody have fun tonight - everybody Wang Chung tonight!
She's a brick - house. She's mighty-mighty. Letting it all hang out!
Take it … to the limit … take it … to the limit. Take it. To the limit. One more tiiiiiiiiime …
When first-graders attack, they at least apologize eloquently.
Pacifist prison wardens? Tenderhearted bouncers? Forgetful waiters?
You've got your troubles, I've got mine, brother.
For I am Lunch Dad. Hear me roar.
He Said: Fair Market Value
Cooking is a highlight of my existence – right up there with coaching soccer and tickling my girls.
Seriously, I probably spend considerably more hours per week thinking about food than actually preparing it.
Silencing Iguanas, setting off Fireworks, taming Giraffes: All in a day’s work for a coach.
I've written 775 columns so far, not one rattling on about my girls' soccer success.
Consider me due.
Listen up, girls: Live goofy. Eat cookie dough. Love always.
Hey girls. I keep thinking of advice to give you, but at all the wrong times. You know, while you’re asleep, or when I’m in traffic, or standing at the urinal.
So, I’ll do what any reasonable dad in 2012 would do – I’ll write it as a blog post.
Eli Pacheco
Coach Daddy
Bio:
I'm a former newspaper guy-turned-9-to-5'er who found a whole new life outside late-night deadlines and working every time Thanksgiving landed on a Thursday. I'm a father of three girls (ages 13, 10 and 6), coach of 3 soccer teams and a believer that all good things come in 3’s, especially slices of pizza, winning streaks and green lights. My girls and I routinely go on daddy/daughter dates – just a night of dinner and a movie or a ball game. Just time for the two of us, and a chance, when they get older, to talk to me in confidence about anything. It’s very important to me to establish my relationship with each of them, independent of how they see their parents as a double-unit. Plus, I hope to show them how they should expect to be treated when the real dating life begins. (Although there’s no hurry. At all.)
